Hitting the brakes on negative manifestation
and dealing with Reverse PTSD
I was backing out of my garage today, and suddenly BOOM! Something fell from the ceiling rack and onto the top of my windshield!
Thank goodness it was just an empty cardboard box. But it still scared the crap out of me for a solid minute…
After catching my breath, I began to go through an exercise that’s starting to become second nature: I asked why I manifested this incident.
Since I had been in a pretty high mood all morning, and was looking forward to taking a break and driving outside, this happened because I had curses and beliefs tied to “I don’t deserve to enjoy or apply myself fully, and I have to scare myself as a warning not to be too happy with life.”
That’s an example of negative manifestation.
The mainstream spiritual community loves to talk about positive manifestation. Like money, romance, good health, hitting XYZ goals. That’s awesome, and people who follow the guidelines provided do end up reaping the rewards. It works.
But what they don’t talk about are the specifics:
How consistent are these rewards coming in? If it’s money, let’s say you manifested a one time check of $2000. But is it coming in like a corporate paycheck, week after week, month after month?
You’re getting the positive manifestation results. But are you also still getting some negative ones? Like a mixed bag, where you landed a new high paying client/job, but then your former business partner takes you to court? Or you found your soul mate, but your ex keeps showing up and making your life hell? Bought a Maserati, but then got hit by a truck and ended up in the hospital?
So…as I like to say, positive manifestation is only 50% of the story. The other half is about removing that negative manifestation. Otherwise, how can we fully enjoy ourselves? Living life while looking over our shoulders for something bad on the horizon is hardly good living.
People also like to think negative manifestation is only really big stuff. Yes, it can be, but it is also the little things in our daily lives. Here are some examples:
Getting a paper cut
Spending 30 minutes trying to find a parking spot at an event
Losing your engagement ring at a hotel
Elevator breaks down in your building
Dog chewing up the couch
Skin getting acne
Getting bitten by mosquitos
Coworker gossiping about you behind your back
Suffering from nightmares
Getting injured during a workout
Flight getting delayed
Getting pulled over and fined by the police while driving
Partner yelling at you for something silly and small
Waitress being rude at the restaurant
Kids getting in trouble at school
Things in house keep breaking down and needing constant repair
Anything that doesn’t serve us, that makes us feel like crap, like we could really do without these things in our life, is a form of negative manifestation. That covers a lot!
How about un-manifesting these negative things?
Let’s talk about what I call The Metaphysics of Addition and Subtraction.
Mainstream spirituality is primarily concerned with Addition. As mentioned before, Addition is fun, glamorous, and feels great. Sound bowls make me feel so relaxed. And who could say no to a spiritual retreat with music, dancing, healthy food, and yoga?
Yet, the growth is slow. Sometimes feels like it’s skin deep. Doesn’t solve the big issues in our lives. In my opinion, the worst part of it is that it propagates the common belief that life needs to have ups and downs, and that everything positive naturally comes with something negative. As if that’s the definition of balance. We believe it, and then we teach that to our children. And it sets them back, and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
How about breaking those karmic patterns instead?
Let’s now examine how Addition and Subtraction need to work together to get the job done through a series of diagrams:
While these diagrams are easy to understand, most are scared to start the process of Subtraction. The saying “most of life is about showing up” also applies here. In this case, showing up to do the work, or even showing up to have others do the work for them. The most interesting part is, most people don’t consciously realize they are scared. They just subconsciously and unconsciously manifest negative things happening to them so they will have excuses not to show up.
Some common ones include:
Getting a cold or other health issues
Someone in their life being a pain in the ass and demanding attention
Work getting too busy
Kids draining them of time and energy
Partner being unsupportive and critical
Attracting abusive and unavailable people into their lives
Some other ones I’ve seen (less common):
Getting into an accident and being seriously injured
Getting arrested for possessing drugs
House getting broken into by thieves
If any of these sound familiar, you’re not alone! The key is to realize that your shadow is fearful of starting and/or continuing with the shadow work. It’s resisting hard, fighting tooth and nail. Hence the negative manifestation and pushback. And our society has been conditioned and programmed in such a way that when we hear the above external reasons, we say “oh I’m so sorry, of course you’re a victim and you get a pass. We’ll keep you in our prayers and send you love and light.” When the actual response should be “ask yourself why you’re manifesting these negative situations and take responsibility for them.” No shame, just be aware and take the appropriate actions. And sure, maybe that’s too direct to say to someone else, but if these things are happening to you, at least have this talk with yourself.
If you’ve already started the shadow work process, how do you know it’s working? The most obvious answer is you’ll notice you’re no longer manifesting as many negative things as before. That’s the most obvious. Then you’ll notice you’re calmer, healthier, more connected to your purpose and intuition, and there’s overall a lot less drama, trauma, and conflict in your life. You’re reaching your goals easier, faster, and sometimes even without thinking about them!
Sometimes, when we start on this Subtraction journey, we feel intense shifts happening and then we might even feel sick at some point. Dizziness, nausea, sore muscles, anxiety…to name a few. Why is that?
I call it Reverse PTSD. We have carried the junk (trauma) in our systems for too many past lives to count. We’ve developed whole personas, ego identities, and coping mechanism structures around it. When it gets removed, our bodies initially struggle to adjust. It’s the PTSD of no longer having PTSD, hence the name Reverse PTSD.
Since my awakening, one of my favorite subjects is The Seven Stages of Alchemy. I reread parts of it almost on a daily basis. Now if we examine Stage 1: Calcination, we see it is all about burning away with fire. To some, this sounds thrilling. To others, this sounds scary. To quote another source:
Calcination: The initiation into higher states of consciousness is always done by subtracting rather than adding. The essential starting place for the great work is the burning away of all that has been calcified into the conditioned self. The esoteric dimensions of this step are the reducing of the individual’s programmed, egoic self into ashes. Fire is the spiritual catalyst that purifies one’s essence in the crucible of life. The majority of people would like to advance into higher levels of awareness, while still maintaining the comforts of their identity, belief systems, and multiple contradictory views. Calcination provides the necessary friction that challenges the persona, annihilating the stagnant energy holding our ideologies and neurosis in place so that the spirit may awaken. This happens when we enter into a Dark Night of the Soul, a form of existential crisis where our entire worldview undergoes reconstruction. What we are left with is an emptiness that is usually experienced as intense grief. As the former self gradually perishes, we encounter the inner void.
Note that the first part of the first stage talks about subtracting. Subtraction needs to happen first. I know lots of spiritual “gurus” who have been working in the business for decades, but done little to no subtracting. Ouch. We all need mentors in our journeys. But we need to pick wisely. In retrospect, I would be hesitant to pick someone who hasn’t done Subtraction or speaks against it, as if it isn’t necessary or doesn’t exist. Why not? They seem pretty psychic. Have a lot of followers. Looks hot. Looks successful. Speaks eloquently.
It goes back to the concept of burning the egoic self to ashes. If they do not recognize Subtraction, that means their ego is still very much intact. Once you get to know them for long enough, it will show up. It’s one thing if you’re just watching and following along a few of their videos on YouTube, but if you’re actually getting energy work done on you by them, you will begin to notice it’s not very effective. Or it comes with strings attached, like with the positive comes some negative. That’s a sign that they haven’t worked on themselves enough. Another sign is when they say doing active energy work takes too much energy, and charges you according to how much energy expenditure it costs them. Again, if they’ve cleaned themselves out enough, it shouldn’t. The cost of energy sessions should be based on the value it brings you, not how much energy it costs them. Channeling should be effortless. Same with downloads. Same with removing curses, structures, black magic, and limiting beliefs.
What are the “multiple contradictory views” mentioned above? Some examples are:
“I get to criticize others but I am also justified in feeling angry or victimized when I get criticized”
“I feel lonely a lot but I want others around me to be available”
“I don’t want to do shadow work unless everyone else does theirs first”
The quote above makes it pretty clear: you will not attain higher levels of consciousness and awareness without burning away those parts of yourself. The path to enlightenment isn’t about who has done this for twenty, thirty, or forty years. It’s about who is ready to begin the process of Subtraction.
Let the Dark Night of the Soul come. You’ll come out as a much better version of yourself.